It was only a matter of time…

Someone once told me that the proof a good record is if you can listen to it on repeat for an extended period of time and it will not get old.  I neglected to ask if this person’s definition of “good” is supposed to be a personal and different-for-everyone kind of thing or not, because my philosophy is “what is good for one, is good for the next” but when it comes to music, I don’t think my philosophy applies.  But aside from my personal beliefs and other people’s opinions, I have found an artist who’s music has been set to repeat for the past month and a half and I am still going.  I have listened to nothing but Lady GaGa for the past month and a half where only an hour or so here and there is allotted for any other music (DISCLAIMER: this is only when I’m with other people and I can tell they are getting annoyed with my obsession).  And yes, this is an obsession.

I’ve tried incorporating other music back into my “frequently listened to” playlists, but my iTunes’ “Top 25 Most Listened to” and “Recently Played” song lists say it all.  Both are filled to the brim with GaGa and Stefani Germanotta Band (GaGa’s real name) jams and I don’t see a problem with it.  I have been criticized by others who say “Stop loving GaGa so much” and “Okay, your obsession with Lady GaGa is getting annoying now”.  My question is why?  What does it matter to you or anyone else what music I listen to?  And even more, why is it wrong to be passionate about one artist in particular?  Everyone has something they truly enjoy, so why am I being singled out for my one thing?  There are much worse things I could care about, don’t you think?

It’s funny, people criticize GaGa for being “different”.  They only see the controversial outfits and live performances, and they can’t get past that.  They don’t go deeper and watch her interviews, and even if they do, it’s as if all they can see are the hair bows.  She is so much more than a hair bow and if any negative critics took the time to see that they would see a beautiful, talented woman who has struggled her way to the top, paid her dues, and is finally making her dreams come true.

The last thing I will say in THIS blog about Lady GaGa, or should I say Legend GaGa is that no matter how much criticism I have to endure, I will always be RJ and I will always be a LittleMONS✝ER.

Lady GaGa on the Red Carpet at the Grammys 2010

I prefer the Lemon Iced Tea flavor…

I’m sitting alone in my single room, in my sophomore year of college.  My walls are white, save the few posters I have created myself and hung in strategic places to cover up some of the depressing blankness.  The black curtain that hangs in front of my closet is open, revealing various items such as sneakers tossed aside with disregard, different articles of clothing hung with care, some hair products and a Paul Revere-esque lamp, in case the power goes out (which if you go to Monmouth, you know happens at LEAST once a year).  I hear the sounds of heels clacking past my door and down the hallway, muffled voices of residents returning from or making a pitstop during their night out, and the soft whir of my refrigerator keeping my water and Ssips Iced Tea boxes chilled.

I remember moving into this room.  I turned the key to unlock the door, and looked around.  I lived in this building as a Freshman, so I knew the Resident Assistant rooms were small, and I didn’t have a problem with it, nor was I surprised when I saw mine for the first time.  The day was Friday, August 28, 2009, outside it was dreary but I was excited.  Exactly five months and two days have gone by since I moved in, and in place of the empty spaces and blank walls, I have added touches of my own style and comforts of home, as well as notes to myself to stay motivated, pictures of loved ones and enough seating for a small army.

There are days when the solitude that comes with the territory of being an RA is lovely.  I don’t have to consult anyone if I want to rearrange my room, I know everything in the fridge is mine, I can use it as an escape if I am having a bad day, or I can hang out with friends at my own discretion.  Other days however, it is overwhelmingly sad.  There are some days, when literally no one is around, and those days are the hardest.  It seems as if the days I need human interaction the most, are the days I get it the least.  Being an RA is especially tough when the majority of your friends are not.  They can go out at their leisure and not worry about  losing their job if they are in the wrong place at the wrong time.  But I don’t mean to complain, as I love my job.

One of the great things about being an RA is creating and maintaining good relationships with your residents.  You don’t have to be best friends (in fact it is somewhat frowned upon) but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t randomly pop in to talk to them.  This year I have gotten to meet some of the funniest, sweetest kids who are in the same position I was last year, in the very same building.

I’m sitting alone in my single room, in my sophomore year of college.  My walls are covered in memories, the black curtain that hangs in front of my closet is open revealing the things I put away myself, and the only sounds I hear are the tap tap tapping of my fingers on my keyboard.  It is the second to last day in January and I’m daydreaming ahead to the middle of May when I am expected to pack up my belongings and head home for the summer.  I can’t imagine that day, but like a train headed for the station, it’s quickly approaching and nothing I can do will slow it down.

As always, my name is RJ, and I think it would be worth your while to stop by this blog: http://teawithashley.wordpress.com/

Ssips Lemon Iced Tea

I Vow…

Explain to me please, why we try so hard to please those who pay us no mind and then neglect those who care?  Is it because we know that the people who already care will always care?  Because that may not always be the case if we continuously neglect them.  A friend recently told me that the reason I try so hard to get through to people that want nothing to do with me is because I feel that people can change.  And I guess she’s right.  I am naive enough to believe this.  Whether or not it’s true is another story.  I have given far too much time and put far too much effort into something that will never work out.  No.  No one asked me to do this, so maybe I, myself am to blame for the time and energy I’ve wasted.  But so what?

You know what’s funny?  Just allow me to bring you back to the first statement I made. “Explain to me please, why we try so hard to please those who pay us no mind and then neglect those who care? Is it because we know that the people who already care will always care? Because that may not always be the case if we continuously neglect them.” I’m being neglected here.  And I do care.  I hope you come to realize that it’s true, if you neglect someone or something long enough they will stop caring, and you as a priority will become just part of their past.  This is my vow to stop caring about people who could not care less about me.  This is my vow to stop wasting my time.

I’m RJ and I’m going to go see if I can revive my poor withered plant that I neglected to water…

“Yes, I was there, I have the videos to prove it…”

Which is better?  Watching something on TV/online or watching something live in the audience?  In my opinion, nothing beats being in a sea of people who are all focused on the same thing.  Be it a hockey game, a concert, a play, or the taping of a television show, you don’t get the same feeling when you watch from home instead of being able to experience them in person.  I’m mainly discussing concerts in this one.

I am more than guilty of recording and taking pictures during concerts.  The security staff gives concert-goers an inch and of course we all take a mile.  They allow us to bring our cameras and our camera phones as long as we leave the professional stuff at home.  But they all know what we do: we sit through the whole concert, taking picture after picture, and video after video hoping to get the best parts and coolest shots so we can post them up on every forum we can find, as if to say one of the following things:

1. “Look at how amazing my seat was!”

2. “Look at how crappy my seat was, but look at how amazing the zoom on my camera is!”

I’ve been thinking about it and I wonder why on earth would I waste my time doing this?  And let me tell you, I have been to my fair share of shows and more often than not I would leave with sore arms from holding my camera up the entire time.  I realize now that my goal was to preserve memories of what I was watching, and that makes perfect sense, however I have come to find that the memories I was saving were often those of me watching a show on my digital camera’s LCD screen.  Of course I did my fair share of staring directly at the stage and the performers doing their thing, but to come home with thirty videos and over one hundred pictures, makes me question the amount of time I actually watched the live show that was going on in front of my eyes.

My next question is: for whom are you recording the videos and taking the pictures on which you spent the entire show focusing?  Are they for you?  So that you can watch the show when you get home, in the comfort of your living room?  Or are they for your friends who weren’t fortunate enough to get tickets in time?  Either way, I have come to find that it’s really not worth it.  Not only do you miss out on the big picture when you’re focusing on capturing one little thing, but you also end up with people’s heads and random arms in your shot, or the faceless shrieking fans in your video who are attempting to sing along as well as be heard by everyone in the arena.  My advice?  Take a few pictures and/or videos sporadically throughout the show, that way you have a few highlights to bring home with you, but most importantly make sure you focus on the show that’s being performed for you.  You can’t get that back.  No two performances are ever the same no matter how consistent an artist or band is.

As always, I’m RJ and I’m going to go listen to some Lady GaGa and be envious of everyone who has tickets to her current and upcoming shows…hey, maybe someone will have pictures!

But I’m not tired…

Why is it that the days you wake up most tired, have the most to do, with no nap in between, and wind up staying up the latest, you’re not tired at night; but then you wake up the next morning and are unable to function and the cycle begins again?  I am so ridiculously awake right now, but wild horses could not drag me out of bed this morning, and if I know myself as well as I claim to, this will be my problem tomorrow as well.  Why is that?  Did my body and brain just adjust to being awake and now that they are, they don’t want to sleep?  I feel like I am reverting back to my childhood.  The days where I would make up any excuse not to go to sleep.  I would fight sleep.  I would hop out of bed to get a drink of water; get up and say “I never kissed mommy goodnight.”  I would do everything short of whipping out a sword Peter Pan style and literally fighting sleep – and I mean, trust me, if I could have made that happen, I would have.  But in the end, sleep always won out.  It still does.  Except now I don’t mind because I love sleep.  Well, save right now of course…

So what is it about kids that makes them want to fight sleep so badly?  Sleep and dreams are my two favorite concepts about which to learn.  I sit in class in my sleep deprived state wishing that I could be napping, wondering why kids these days fight off nap time, often to the dismay of babysitters everywhere.  I constantly think about how I wish I had racked up the hours of sleep back in the day, because I feel I never get it anymore, and how if I were a baby all I would do is sleep.  It’s almost as if kids have something to prove, no?  As if to say that they’re cool for not needing a nap and staying up past their bed time.  When I had a bed time, I know I thought I was the coolest thing going when I was up ten, twenty, thirty minutes past EIGHT.  Now I’m in college and I’m probably more of a child than ever before.  I curl up with a blanket and I take naps with my stuffed animal giraffe and I think that’s okay.  It’s perfectly acceptable, and kind of cool too.  So why didn’t I think it was cool when I was five?

All I know is, college has taken my sleep schedule, crumpled it into a tiny little ball, and thrown it out a ten story window.  College laughs in the face of my former sleep schedule.  College is causing me to sleep less, and drink caffeine more.  But don’t worry, I never drink coffee before nap time…because that would just be stupid.

Crack open a Red Bull, kids, it’s going to be a long one.  Love always, RJ.

Guilty Pleasure Jams: I’m Not Ashamed.

Guilty pleasures.  Everyone’s got them.  Don’t lie, you know you have music that you’ll only dare to play in the sanctity of your own car or through headphones, when you’re the only one who can hear.  And it’s not like you just listen, oh no.  When you have your guilty pleasure music on, you belt it out, and you dance, admit it, I know I do.  Stoplights are the best.  The car stops, but the music does not, and in no way should your performance.  Anyone who laughs is just someone who hasn’t been caught yet.  Okay, so you may not be ready to admit the songs that make you imagine you’re up on stage in front of 10,000 screaming fans, but here they are, my top ten guilty pleasure jams, to which I shamelessly know every word:

10.  Quit Playing Games (with my heart) – Backstreet Boys – “Sometimes I wish I could turn back time, impossible as it may seem…” I’m a true 90s kid through and through so of course my day was never complete without a little AJ, Nick, Howie, Kevin, and (my personal favorite) Brian.

9.  Manic Monday – Bangles – Got a case of the Mondays?  Take a dose or two of this song and call me in the morning.

8.  Love is a Battlefield – Pat Benatar – “We are young!”  Enough said, man…

7.  I Will Learn to Love Again – Kaci – Straight off the soundtrack to “The Perfect Man” starring Hilary Duff, Heather Locklear and Chris Noth (better known as Mr. Big from Sex and the City) whenever I hear this, I just can’t help myself.

6.  Come Clean – Hilary Duff – Speaking of Hilary Duff ^ I thought this was appropriate.  When she makes her appearance on my iPod, I sometimes judge myself for listening…

5.  All or Nothing – O Town – Girls, find your boys, it’s the last slow song Mr. DJ is going to play at this school dance…

4.  How Do I Live – LeAnn Rimes – This one goes out to my mom.  I pride myself on being possibly one of the only people (besides her college music professor) to hear my mom sing for real; and she can pride herself on being the same for me.  This came on once in the car, we sang it, and when we got home I bought it on iTunes, and like the rest of these songs, when I hear it, I can’t not sing it.

3.  It’s All Coming Back to Me Now – Celine Dion – Yes. Just, yes.

2.  Ironic – Alanis Morissette – The song’s not very ironic at all, but I miss chick rockers like her.  I love this song.

1.  I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston – I mean, I really think this one is self explanatory.  Shout out to Robin and Jenna for this one. 🙂

Special thanks to the person who prompted this blog, I enjoyed writing it, in all it’s embarrassing glory.

So, I’m RJ, and I’m going to go get my hairbrush, the show starts promptly at 10…

So, wait. He’s just not that into you?

You may have heard there was a book.  You may have caught some previews or even the overpriced, non-matinee showing in the movie theater.  Or you may have just waited for it to come out on DVD.  So whichever category you do or do not fall into, this is what I’m talking about: “He’s Just Not That Into You” and the questions both the book and movie versions left in my head.  Things to note, I probably won’t be talking about either the movie or the book themselves besides this: I totally loved clicking through the pages of this book on my Kindle, and I thoroughly enjoyed curling up with my blanket and watching the movie alone in my single room while I analyzed every single thing every guy has ever done.  Just for fun of course.

First of all, guys, why is it so hard for you to tell a girl you are uninterested?  Does it make you feel good to string her along until she is so far from where she started that she has no idea how to get back?  Or is it just the lack of spine? Say this with me, boys, “I’m just not that into you”.  Was that so hard?  Well, practice makes perfect, you’ll get there.  Second of all why waste your time stringing along a girl about whom, you don’t care?  What’s the point?  Seriously, there is nothing more to my question than that.

My next grievance is with my own kind.  The ladies.  The smart, beautiful, talented ladies that allow themselves to be strung along and continue to make excuses for the guys who don’t seem to want them.  I’ll admit, I’ve done it too.  I’ve made excuses left and right for why my guy hasn’t called, or stuck with plans, but in the end, it all turns out to be for the same reason: he didn’t want me.  And that’s fine, not every guy is going to love every girl he meets and vice versa.  But, girls, tell me please, why?  Why do you hold onto the guys who don’t treat you well and cast off the ones who will treat you like the princess you are?  Your turn ladies, say it with me, “he is just not that into me.”  It’s really not that difficult to say it, and it’s slightly empowering.  Now take that idea, and go with it.

Guys, find yourself a girl who is willing to do the whole “friends with benefits” thing (you know, the girl who straight up tells you “this is what I want”, do not assume here) and stop lying to the girls who want more than that, just so you can keep them around.  And when you finally find “the one” that you want as more than just a hook up, please, treat her right.  And ladies, find yourself a guy who wants you for you and is constantly at the ready to prove this to you.

As always, I’m RJ, and this is just something to think about.

Blogging

So this is blogging? I’m afraid to ask this but, what’s the point? I know what you’re going to say: “Why sign up for a blogging website if you don’t get the point of it?” Am I right? In no way am I putting down blogging, I mean I’m here aren’t I? My real question should be “Why do YOU blog?” You, yes you, reader. What are you doing here? Just browsing? Perusing the works of your fellow bloggers? Just so happened to click a random link only to find yourself on an unfamiliar website? In any case, welcome. Welcome to what I’m hoping will be the place I can put my thoughts that I so often write by hand and file away only to be reread when I accidentally stumble upon them.

For the longest time I kept my writings primarily to myself and a few select people, from whom I requested opinions. Now in the long run, their opinions wouldn’t change the writings themselves, because I write for me first, and everyone else second. Is that selfish? I don’t seem to think so, but you can let me know, we’re friends now. But now, for whatever reason, I’ve decided to make my thoughts public, where anyone can stumble upon them. Maybe it was my recent change in major – from Psychology to Communications – PR/Journalism with a double minor in Psych and oh yea, Creative Writing. Or maybe I just finally want more than just the inside of my notebook to know what I’m scribbling about so often. Either way, I’m here now and happy to be, so let’s recap: I’m here to find out why other people blog, and to put my own thoughts out there for you to read. And the question I leave you with: “Why do you blog?”

For now, I’m RJ, and this is just something to think about…

Blogging: The Early Years